God hates divorce, but it is better for Jesus to judge you as someone who got divorced instead of someone who murdered his or her spouse, or arguably even worse, a former spouse.
I say that in part because I have seen too many recent reports of relationships, to include former relationships, that ended in violence that exceeds the violence the Lord used to describe putting someone away (Malachi 2:16). I am not an advocate for getting divorced for trivial reasons. If you know me, you know my passion is to prevent people from getting in or returning to an ill-advised relationship in order to prevent getting divorced. A part of that passion stems from not wanting relationships to get bloody or deadly. Personally speaking, I prefer if two people got divorced, which makes it possible to reconcile, than for a person to commit murder. The Lord hates divorce, but we can deduce that He puts a greater priority on committing murder. Before we dive in, keep in mind that Jesus mentioned some people receiving “greater damnation” (Matthew 23:14), which is a part of why I was inspired to use the opening statement.
Some people have written off most of the Old Testament, but for me, it is an important part of understanding how the Lord thinks. Under the Law, people were permitted to get divorced, and it was much easier than today’s “no-fault” divorces (Deuteronomy 24:1-5). That was during a time when a person could have been stoned to death for committing adultery (Leviticus 20:10). Yet, getting divorced did not come with the death penalty. In fact, some of the things that result in people getting divorced today are things that would not have resulted in a divorce back, but only because the person would have been put to death instead. In today’s age, some people use righteousness to justify unrighteousness, to include killing a spouse, or even a former spouse, because they are keeping their vow before the Lord to stay with a person “until death do we part”. Well, if that is your thought process, you are going to be in for a rude awakening when you appear before the Lord with blood on your hands. You righteously strained out a gnat but swallowed a camel. Have you ever noticed that even though the Lord designed marriage for one man and one woman, His issue with king Solomon was not that he had 1,000 wives and concubines? But rather, the Lord rendered judgment against him when he started worshipping idols because of some of those women (1 Kings 11). Solomon could have avoided that issue with the Lord by divorcing the idolatrous women (see Ezra 9-10). Some failed marriages today are because the individuals, even professing Christians, are actually serving two different gods (see 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). That ladies and gentlemen is the epitome of what we now refer to as “irreconcilable differences” if one person will not renounce his or her god.
Now that I have laid the foundation by speaking about divorce, let us examine some of the impacts of taking another person’s life. One of the Lord’s Ten Commandments is often translated as, ‘Thou shalt not kill.’ ~ Exodus 20:13 (KJV) But especially because the Lord commanded the Israelites to impose the death penalty on people such as false prophets (Deuteronomy 13:1-5) and witches (Exodus 22:18), a more accurate translation is “murder” instead of “kill” (Matthew 19:18). I would imagine back then that a false prophet or a witch would have preferred to accept a writ of divorcement instead of being put to death. After all, those practices, which the Lord classifies as abominations (Deuteronomy 18:9-11), fall under what was (and is still) considered a form of uncleanness that could get someone put away (Deuteronomy 24:1). But to examine the Lord’s sanctity on life, one of His most precious gifts to us, let us go back to Genesis 4 with the first murder. By the way, if you are reading this and you are having thoughts of murdering someone, this will serve as an indictment against you if you do not repent. This post is like the warning the Lord gave to Cain when jealousy was leading him astray. Do not confuse jealousy and love, especially when it produces evil thoughts, and subsequently, evil deeds. Your jealousy will always cause strife in any relationship you are in, for as it is written:
“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.” ~ James 3:14-18 (KJV)
Again, “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” ~ James 3:16 (KJV) That means your jealousy will result in you being the devilish hell raiser who brings strife and evil works to “relationships”. And if you are not careful, your jealousy will have you crying out like the victim when you were in fact the victimizer.
After Cain became jealous of his brother Abel, the Lord graciously warned Cain, as you are now being warned, that sin was crouching at his door but he must rule over it (Genesis 4:7). Cain fulfilled the evil desire of his heart and killed Abel. Do not be like Cain who ignored the warning and then complained about the severity of the Lord’s subsequent judgment:
“And He said, ‘What hast thou done? The voice of thy brother’s blood crieth unto Me from the ground. And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother’s blood from thy hand; When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.’
And Cain said unto the Lord, ‘My punishment is greater than I can bear. Behold, Thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from Thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.’” ~ Genesis 4:10-14 (KJV)
That reminds me of how some people complain after a divorce is finalized, as if their former spouse victimized them, even though the spouse may have escaped from a devil instead… Also, let me add this caution because I know how the devil works. Do not entertain thoughts of doing something evil because you plan on simply going to the Lord and asking Him for forgiveness afterwards. Do not play games with the Lord because you will lose. One of the things I will also cover is how the Lord, who is very merciful, makes a distinction and has provisions for involuntary manslaughter (or killing someone in self-defense or to protect another) versus premeditated murder.
After the flood, the Lord told Noah that they could eat animals in addition to fruits and vegetables. But the following instructions also indicate the value the Lord places on human life:
‘But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat. And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man’s brother will I require the life of man. Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.’ ~ Genesis 9:4-6 (KJV)
Please note that there were consequences for a person or animal that took the life of a human. In addition, centuries later, when the Lord gave His Laws to Moses, it included the following regarding taking another person’s life (Numbers 35:9-35):
A person who killed another could flee to a city of refuge the Lord had established and would be safe from those who sought vengeance (justice), until the killer was given a trial. If it was deemed that the person committed involuntary manslaughter, the individual had to remain within the boundaries of the city of refuge or be put to death. [You may want to consider that as a warning to not return to a bad relationship that the Lord has rescued you from.] On the contrary, a person who murdered another would be put to death because there would be no refuge. That should serve as an indication of what a person can expect if he or she is entertaining committing a sin with the intention of simply asking the Lord for forgiveness afterwards.
Do not try to make a mockery of the Lord’s grace because even His forgiveness will not absolve you of the consequences for your actions. David truly repented yet he and his family bore the consequences of his sinful actions (2 Samuel 11-19). Moses also benefitted from the city of refuge rule so to speak even prior to the Law. When Moses killed the Egyptian who was persecuting a fellow Hebrew, Moses fled to Midian. That is why “…the Lord said unto Moses in Midian, ‘Go, return into Egypt: for all the men are dead which sought thy life.’” ~ Exodus 4:19 (KJV)
The Lord also stressed His value of human life by imposing rules against animals that killed a person. For example:
‘If an ox gore a man or a woman, that they die: then the ox shall be surely stoned, and his flesh shall not be eaten; but the owner of the ox shall be quit. But if the ox were wont to push with his horn in time past, and it hath been testified to his owner, and he hath not kept him in, but that he hath killed a man or a woman; the ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death.’ ~ Exodus 21:28-29 (KJV)
If you know someone who is contemplating harming or killing another, you may want to share this post with that individual. Do not think the Lord will hold you guiltless if you knew or could discern trouble but remained silent. If you are thinking of killing a spouse or former spouse because the marriage will not or did not last the lifetime you had hoped, nothing is worth burning in the lake of fire forever for. Just in case you did not know, or may have forgotten, ‘…the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.’ ~ Revelation 21:8 (KJV) You can recover after getting divorced or the dissolution of a non-marital relationship, but there is no escaping the lake of fire. It makes no sense for a person to go through a breakup where only a few people knew, and would have quickly forgotten, to include if the breakup was embarrassing, than to see the person in the national news for going on trial or to prison because of a jealous outburst. If you are burning with seemingly unquenchable anger and jealously now, you better extinguish it before you end up in a place where the fire is truly unquenchable (Matthew 3:12).
As stated in the beginning, a part of my inspiration for this is that too many people have tried to Lord over another person’s life, even to the point of taking it. You do not have the right to murder your spouse, and you deserve even “greater damnation” for murdering or attempting to murder an ex. If the person was an ex-spouse, it may demonstrate that the Lord allowed the divorce because a continued relationship would have ended in murder. As a result, He mercifully allowed a divorce in an effort to prevent having to send someone to hell, forever, for committing murder. You may find it distasteful for me to use the following in this context, but, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13 (KJV) If you do not want to end your relationship with jealousy and your murderous desires, the Lord may open the way for your spouse to depart from you. For as much as the Lord hates divorce, sometimes it is the way of escape to prevent from committing murder or getting murdered. Arguably, and you are free to disagree, it is better for a marriage to die so that both people may live and have a chance to see each other again in heaven.
Someone shared a story with me of a marriage that was terminated based on threats of violence. But I told the person that the threats were actually promises. After the marriage ended, the person who made those threats was later imprisoned for committing violence against another. I am quite sure I would have never had that conversation if the individual had stayed in the marriage. It also points to why the God, who hates divorce, may allow it because the victim of abuse may have had to resort to taking the other person’s life in self-defense. So rather than getting killed, the Lord is using the person who escaped from that marriage to help save other people’s lives by leading them to Christ. It reminds me of when Jesus said, ‘Wherefore I say unto thee, her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.’ ~ Luke 7:47 (KJV) It is better to remove your wedding ring and move on with your life than to get a pair of “bracelets” from a police officer as you are escorted off to jail to live the rest of your life behind bars.
Many people end up in hell because they ignored warnings like this. But I will not get blood on my hands for not speaking out. I would much rather if a person gets sent to hell for ignoring the warning I was inspired to issue than to get sent there because I remained silent. But most of all, I would prefer if a person repents of the sinful thoughts that will eventually lead to sinful deeds. I prefer to offend you into heaven than to serenade you into hell.
“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” ~ Proverbs 16:18 (KJV)
This is a recent example of a marriage that ended in murder, and suicide (which is a form of murder): http://people.com/crime/theresa-lockhart-michigan-teacher-husband-felt-victimized/
Sometimes you simply need to cut your loses and move on before things go too far. This woman could have gotten killed instead of arrested: http://www.policemag.com/channel/patrol/news/2017/10/24/video-fl-woman-stabs-off-duty-deputy-during-fight-with-ex.aspx?@{webtrack}@
I almost forgot, but I lost a family member because a jealous ex murdered him, his wife, and their daughter before hanging himself as told in “The Anatomy of a Heartbreak: When SAMson met Delilah”.
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
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