If you are single, you meet someone of interest and you take a liking to each other, but things seemingly start to fizzle before getting started, ask the Lord what is happening. This is particularly suspect if one or both of you seemingly inexplicably lost interest. Also, take note if people start telling you negative things about the person, even though they do not know him or her and cannot substantiate their allegations. Your index of suspicion should be even higher if people start speaking negatively about you to the individual, and you know that what they are saying about you is not true. However, you are in a precarious position and unable to deliver the facts because people have poisoned the well against you so to speak, even to the point where the person you are interested in won’t listen to what you have to say. Things get even worse when those who know the facts, and can shed light on the cloak of deception, don’t speak up and try to “clear the air” with the truth. Someone is serving “Haterade”.
When Jesus told the Parable of the Sower (Luke 8:4-15), He mentioned that the farmer sowed seeds but only a fourth of them grew to maturity and produced fruit. The Lord said, ‘A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it. And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture. And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it. And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold.’ And when He had said these things, He cried, ‘He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.’ ~ Luke 8:5-8 (KJV)
So, what are the elements that are working against your blessings, to either snatch them away, ensure they never take root, or choke the life out of them shortly after they have taken root? In the case of the latter, that is like the sudden change of heart you and/or the other person may have experienced in a matter. It was growing and then suddenly stopped, and most likely died.
Sometimes even your closest confidant may end up becoming your worst enemy on the way to fulfilling your destiny, a messenger of satan, if you are not discerning. Keep in mind that in Matthew 16 the Lord commended Peter for speaking on the Heavenly Father’s behalf. However, the Lord later rebuked the devil who was speaking through Peter. It is written, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” ~ Proverbs 11:14 (KJV) Yet, especially as demonstrated with Peter, you want to ensure you are getting Godly counsel, and that the counselors are speaking on behalf of the Lord. Take note of what Jesus said when He rebuked the devil who was using Peter to try to stop Him from fulfilling His destiny. ‘Get thee behind Me, satan: thou art an offence unto Me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.’ ~ Matthew 16:23 (KJV) You may have to rebuke someone you care about and/or look up to because that person is representing the devil’s interests instead of the Lord’s.
Please note that there are ways to determine if the devil interfered with your blessings. For example, if you later approach those who were in opposition of the desire of your heart, and they cannot offer a plausible explanation for “their” point of view at the time, or even worse, they have no recollection of what you are referring to. It may even be worse if they now have great things to say about the person they once slandered, yet never shared the revelation with you. Another way is if you get to see the person’s true colors for yourself, and it breaks the fog of deception.
Can you imagine the shock on Peter’s face when the Lord looked at him but said satan? Yet, at that point in time, Jesus’s beloved apostle was a messenger of satan… I leave you with this very important reminder from Peter and the other apostles, which is something that contributed to numerous Israelites dying in the wilderness without entering into the Promised Land, ‘We ought to obey God rather than men.’ ~ Acts 5:29 (KJV) When you listen to people instead of God, you may end up calling the person of interest, “the one who got away”. It is bitter sweet to hear of an elderly couple that had been separated for years, lived lives with other people, but their hearts were never at rest until they reconnected with their one true love. Oftentimes, when you hear their stories, someone had interfered with their relationship, and sometimes that person was a parent.
Additional Reading: Genesis 24 & 29
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
It is great to have a pastor who will protect you from the wiles of the enemy. However, does that pastor equip you to discern and defeat the enemy?
Just in case you are wondering why you need to defeat the enemy, since he is “a defeated foe”, maybe your life is somehow free of any form of demonic resistance. But let’s assume that it is, I invite you to refer to Scriptures such as 2 Corinthians 2:11, 10:3-5; 1 Peter 5:8; 1 Thessalonians 2:17-18; James 4:7; Ephesians 6:10-19.
One of the best ways to defeat the enemy is by fulfilling your calling from the Lord. A pastor’s “protection” is sometimes what prevents people from fulfilling their Godly calling. By the way, not every calling involves starting a church. The Lord may have called you to preach without calling you to be a pastor. In addition, He may have called you to preach but not in your church or any church building… Many people know their place in the church building, to include where they sit, but they don’t know where they stand in the kingdom of God. Would you be completely lost without your shepherd (pastor) or do you know how to find the Good Shepherd (Christ Jesus)? Can you lead someone to Christ or do you only know how to lead people to your church? What do you do when you know what the Lord has called you to do but no one in your church either knows your calling or wants to acknowledge it?
Please keep the following in mind:
‘Smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered…’ ~ Zechariah 13:7 (KJV) Consequently, pray for ministers, especially those who are effective against the kingdom of darkness because they endure a tremendous level of spiritual warfare.
“And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.” ~ 1 Corinthians 3:1-2 (KJV)
“For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the Word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” ~ Hebrews 5:12-14 (KJV)
Are you prepared to do what the Lord has called you to do, and are you doing it?
So, while those who watch out for you will have to give an account to the Lord for you (Hebrews 13:17), everyone will have to give an account of him or herself to the Lord (Romans 14:12). Keep “The Parable of the Talents” in mind, with specific emphasis on the master’s rebuke and disposition of the servant who hid his talent without putting it to good use (Matthew 25:14:31). Again, are you doing what the Lord has called you to do? In fact, do you know what the Lord has called you to do and where He wants you to be? If you don’t, I strongly suggest that you ask Him.
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
I won’t go too in depth (this time), but there are times when the Lord speaks to us in a parable of the night (a dream or vision), but He is not clear about its meaning (Numbers 12:6-8, Daniel 2, Genesis 40-41, etc.). But rather than getting frustrated, please keep the following in mind because you have just received an invitation from the Lord to have a deeper relationship with Him:
“It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.” ~ Proverbs 25:2 (KJV)
‘For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed; then He openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction…’ ~ Elihu (Job 33:14-16 (KJV)
The Lord conceals His messages to you in a dream or vision, and then invites you to search out the matter. Lest not forget how Jesus spoke in parables and many people did not understand what He was saying, even His closest disciples at times had to ask Him to reveal the meaning of the parables. There are different ways to search for the meaning of your dreams and visions, such as:
Like the disciples, ask the Lord for the meaning of what He communicated.
Search the Scriptures. I recently had a dream where I saw a specific portion of I-435. While “I-435” is not in the Bible, Isaiah 43:5 is, which was where I needed to go to begin unraveling what the Lord had revealed. In addition, a part of searching the Scriptures is to test the spirit behind the dream because some dreams come from the soul or even demonic entities (Jeremiah 23:25-32, 29:8, etc.).
Inquire of someone who, like Joseph and Daniel, may have the skill and/or gift to interpret dreams and visions (Daniel 1:17, 9:21-23). But please note, neither men spent their lives interpreting dreams and visions. Ultimately, you will have to develop your own relationship with the Lord, which is something a prophet will lead you towards. Also, while Joseph seemingly gave the baker, cupbearer, and later the pharaoh an immediate interpretation of their dreams, that won’t always be the case. Daniel prayed to the Lord for the answer to King Nebuchadnezzar’s first dream, which the Lord later revealed to the prophet in a vision of the night (Daniel 2:19). That is a reminder to never be in a hurry to prophesy, not even to a king. When the king had his second dream, Daniel inquired of the Lord and it took an hour for him to answer the king (Daniel 4:19). By the way, the Lord may give you the interpretation of a dream or vision but not authorize you to release the information.
Another source is an Internet search engine, such as Google. However, be careful about seeking dream interpretation from websites, especially those that are not Biblically based. I once had a dream that involved a small shark with long pectoral fins; I woke up wondering if such as shark even existed. When I searched the Internet, I came across a Longfin Mako Shark. I don’t recall ever having seen one before, yet the color and details of its skin that I saw in the dream matched what I saw on the Internet. The Lord created the shark so He could certainly show it to me in a dream and then lead me to its photo on the Internet. Once I found the shark, I began reading about it. Yes, sometimes it takes effort, which is why some people prefer to ask others instead of doing the work for themselves.
Inquire of the Lord. I say that again because you can gather information from various sources, but you still need the Lord to put things together for you. For example, some dreams have transitions that may or may not be related, and only God knows.
In closing, dreams tend to be more symbolic while visions tend to be more literal. Yes, it would be easier if the Lord made every dream or vision a literal one, where what you see is what you get, or, if He were to give an immediate interpretation to every dream or vision. However, when you pursue the answers to your dreams and visions, you are also pursuing the Lord. On some final notes, I recommend that you keep a journal of your dreams and visions because the Lord may seal the interpretation so no one will have its meaning until the appointed time. When the time comes, He will remind you of the dream or vision and give you the answer.
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
Some fires are easier to start than others, but the drawback is they won’t last long. Conversely, other fires are harder to start but they will last longer once they get going. Try setting fire, without using an accelerant, to some pine needles and then a log and see which is easier and which one lasts longer. Now, if you are trying to start a relationship, is it like setting pine needles or wood on fire? If your relationship ended, especially if it was short-lived and ended abruptly, I hope you are open enough to accept the fact that you were expecting pine needles to give you the more enduring effects of firewood.
When starting an outdoor fire, begin with a base of tinder, covered by kindling, with the firewood on top. Use the spark to light the tinder to ignite the kindling, which will in turn light the firewood. As a result, the fire starts small and burns through the more expendable items before it catches unto the firewood. Many relationships have failed because people tried lighting the firewood directly so the fire never truly got started. One person expected an inferno but the spark never even left a mark. Some people even tried starting a relationship where the spark was not transferable. It may have been like trying to light wet firewood because the person either was not ready to receive love, or did not want to receive the fire starter’s love.
So again, start with the tinder, which will quickly burn away and ignite the intermediary kindling, which will burn long enough to ignite the longer lasting firewood. It is similar to how 1 Corinthians 13:13 speaks of faith, hope and love, the greatest of which is love. The tinder represents faith, the kindling hope, and the firewood is love. Sometimes faith and hope will not produce love and you may have to move on to another type or batch of firewood. Keep in mind that fire warms and harms. So, if you are not careful, despite your very best intentions, and especially if your emotions get out of control, you may end up doing more harm than good, both to yourself and the other you may be trying to love. Out of control emotions make a dangerous accelerant to what could have been a heartwarming relationship. There is no rekindling a burnt bridge.
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
Whether good or bad, do not be surprised when you reap what you have sown, just like the Lord said (Galatians 6:7-9). In addition, do not be surprised when you reap more than you have sown. For example, “…Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an hundredfold: and the Lord blessed him.” ~ Genesis 26:12 (KJV) Whatever Isaac planted was what he reaped; if he sowed wheat he reaped wheat.
Have you ever noticed that in nature we also reap more than we have sown? For example, in sowing a kernel of corn, we will reap a stalk that produces one to several ears of corn (depending on the type), each ear with about 1,000 kernels of corn. Again, we reap more than we have sown. Also, sowing corn will not produce apples. So, like Galatians 6:8 says, sowing to the flesh will reap corruption and sowing to the Spirit shall reap life. Consequently, ensure you are not sowing into the works of the flesh such as: “…adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings”, etc. (Galatians 5:19-21). Those kinds of works are guaranteed to produce fruit you will not enjoy in the end. The Lord told Cain he was heading down that path but he proceeded and murdered his brother Abel. Yet, when the Lord rendered His judgment, which is in keeping with the principles already presented, “Cain said unto the Lord, ‘My punishment is greater than I can bear.’” ~ Genesis 4:13 (KJV) Again, we reap what we have sown but we won’t always like the harvest.
Undoubtedly, Isaac enjoyed his hundredfold harvest, but for others, they will be like Cain, because ‘…they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind…’ ~ Hosea 8:7 (KJV) It oftentimes sounds so pure when you hear a jilted spouse asking for prayers to bring the estranged or even former spouse back. Until you discover how the person went about getting the individual, only to realize he or she is simply reaping what he or she has sown. How soon we tend to forget when what we did to others is being returned unto us during harvest time. So yes, the estranged or former spouse may have run off with someone else, but that is what the now jilted spouse had done before; the thief simply got robbed of his or her plunder. Perhaps there were no children involved when the now jilted spouse was the perpetrator, but again, we reap more than we have sown, and others, to include children, may be partakers in the harvest, whether good or bad. Based on our actions, we reap what we have sown. In addition, based on our proximity to others, we may share in the harvest they have sown, which may be a blessing or a curse (Revelation 18:4-5).
Many people are suffering at this very moment, and it may seem as if life is being unfair to them, but if you knew what they have sown you would understand they are simply reaping the consequences of their actions. The harvest is not always immediate, which is sometimes a very scary thing. Sadly, some people use the delay to keep sowing evil seeds, which means they will reap evil fruit. Whatever you have sown, it is done, but from this day forward, you have the opportunity to repent and begin to sow good seeds. As an added incentive, study the Book of Esther and look at the evil seeds that Haman sowed and how they impacted his ten sons in Esther chapter 9. Conversely, when Solomon turned away from the Lord and began worshipping other gods “…the Lord said unto Solomon, ‘Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept My covenant and My statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant. Notwithstanding in thy days I will not do it for David thy father’s sake: but I will rend it out of the hand of thy son. Howbeit I will not rend away all the kingdom; but will give one tribe to thy son for David My servant’s sake, and for Jerusalem’s sake which I have chosen.’” ~ 1 Kings 11:11-13 (KJV)
Solomon benefitted from the good seeds his father David had sown. So yes, whether you are living like Haman or David, your actions will have an impact on generations to come. Haman tried to ruin many people’s lives and he brought ruin to his household.
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
I do not share every “inspired thought” that I have. Moreover, when I share some of those thoughts, it may take a while for me to do so. The following epitomizes that because it has been “marinating” for three years (since 2014), which is like many of the unpublished (book) manuscripts that I have. However, I am sure that as I knock the virtual dust off this article before I present it to you, the Lord will have some revisions for me to make.
Relationships, or potential relationships, tend to get complicated when people do not say what they mean or mean what they say. The following is meant to help to decode what a person may truly be conveying in a relational construct.
In 2014, I posted something on my Kollin L. Taylor Facebook page that weighed heavily on my mind. The post was about coping with breakups; the oftentimes dreaded end to a relationship, especially one laden with a heavy investment of one’s time, efforts, and emotions. I do not believe we can make someone fall in love with us, but it only takes one thing to fall in love. In addition, that one thing gives us a reason to hold on and overlook or accept the other things that may not be very appealing. After all, love is about acceptance because no one is perfect, not even you. In God’s infinite wisdom, the one thing that attracts some people may be the very thing that repels others; it may cause you to get your heart broken yet it will save you from heartaches.
Regrettably, sometimes the “one thing” is because of a person’s perceived, contrived, or actual potential versus his/her performance. Many people have invested way too much time waiting for a person’s potential to become the desired performance. Oftentimes, that becomes a part of the recipe for disaster. While one person is fully vested into the relationship, the other person is not committed at all. So while one person is strapped into the “relationship” and willing to go full speed ahead, the other person is coasting with his/her foot on the brakes, seatbelt unbuckled, with the door partially open and ready to bail out. Many “relationships” have come to an abrupt end, but one person is still strapped into the passenger seat of that vehicle, rapidly going downhill, but refuses to acknowledge that the ride is over.
Before you find yourself riding solo in a “relationship”, to include one where the person is present in body only, let us open our eyes to the reality of the situation before the “vehicle” crashes and burns.
“It’s not you, it’s me.” – That may be a very accurate statement, especially if you loved and accepted the person for who he/she truly is, and you were fully vested. So, now it should be more obvious than ever that the feeling was not mutual, and neither is the level of commitment. This may be an excuse because he/she wants out of the relationship, but it is not necessarily because there is someone else. You may want to become a detective and find out why the person wants to leave, “for the sake of closure”, but it really does not matter why the person wants to leave. When a person wants to leave, step aside and let the person go. The time to dig into issues is if the person wants to return, that is the time for full disclosure because you cannot rebuild a relationship on a broken foundation. Sometimes a person leaves under this guise because of insecurities… But let me address the elephant in the room by saying that sometimes the issue is you. The person says, “It’s not you, it’s me” in an effort to preserve your dignity. In addition, the way you respond will prove whether the main issue was with you or the person. If you cannot stay on the high road during a breakup, if the issue was not with you, it most certainly is now. Your desire to fight for the relationship may backfire. Even if the person has been deceived into leaving the relationship, fighting for the relationship may put you at enmity with your former partner. Your efforts to help may come across as you being controlling. Take notes from the story of the father in the story of the prodigal son. He let his son go and allowed him to come to his senses, even if it meant losing his son forever (Luke 15:11-32). Sometimes when you let a person go, he/she may realize that it is best to return to be with you. But other times one or both of you may accept the fact that it was best for you to go your separate ways. When a person says, “It’s not you, it’s me”, your reaction will either substantiate or disprove it.
“I’m not ready for a (committed) relationship…” – Sometimes this truly is the case, especially if the person initially stated it and then ended the relationship when things started getting too serious. It will not matter if you think you are God’s gift to the world if the person you desire is not ready to be in a (committed) relationship. Thinking someone will take down their walls or succumb to your God-given gifts can send you into a corner licking your wounds. Then there are times when the person is not ready for or wants to be in a relationship with you. You may find this out the hard way when the person leaves you and starts “hanging out” with someone else. I say “hanging out” because sometimes people are in a platonic relationship so it does not necessarily mean you were dumped for someone else. There are times when a person knows that being with you means that marriage is inevitable, and he/she is imply not ready for marriage and loves you enough to let you go.
Sadly, some people have had their heart broken when a person says he/she was not ready for a committed relationship then marries someone else within 6 months. Keep in mind that you are God’s gift to someone but not to everyone. A sign of maturity is to be happy for them and their marriage. A relationship will either work or it won’t. Many people are trying to force a relationship to work when it is best to part ways and work things out with someone better suited. One of the leading causes of divorce is an ill-advised marriage. It is never a good thing to try to force someone to be with you. In addition, you will inevitably devalue yourself while trying to prove your value to another. Rather than trying give yourself as an unwelcomed gift to another person, give that person the gift of goodbye instead. Do not bind yourself to someone who is not bound to you. If you do, your heart will get thrown down the jagged slopes like the Dolomite Mountains that I’ll refer to as “Heartbreak Ridge”.
“I don’t want to ruin the friendship.” – Dating does not ruin friendships, immaturity does. There are relationships that ended badly, but because there was a foundation of friendship, those individuals rekindled that friendship. Some gave up on ever trying to have a romantic relationship, while others matured and may have gotten married later in life. While some friendships can turn into a romantic relationship, some people were simply meant to be friends and absolutely nothing beyond that. Do not exceed a boundary you were never meant to cross, and if you do, simply get back behind the line because it does not have to invalidate the friendship. By the way, I find it interesting that some people do not want to ruin a friendship by getting into a relationship. However, some of the most rewarding relationships are those where the partners say they are married to their best friend. Whatever position you are in, do not exceed a boundary you were never meant to cross. Do not try to turn a friend into a spouse when you were never meant to be in a romantic relationship. And please, do not call yourself a friend if you would block that person from being in a relationship with someone else because you do not want to lose the friendship. Or worse, you have secret feelings for your friend and you do not want him/her to be (happy) with someone else. Those kinds of things ruin friendships.
“Let’s just be friends.” – This is great until your former partner is no longer friendly because all communications have ceased. Sure, there are friends that you may not have heard from in years, yet, when you see each other again, or communicate, it is like you pick up right where you left off. But it is another thing when the person deletes you from his/her contact list, blocks you, etc. By the way, and I should not have to say this, yet I must, you have crossed the line if someone blocks you so you resort to using another account to reach the person. It is even more egregious if you knowingly create a pseudo-account, or worse, pseudo-accounts, in response to being blocked and you insist on trying to be a part of that person’s life. Do not expect a former partner to want to be your friend when you resort to such craziness. Also, the person certainly will not want to rekindle a relationship with you when you DEMONstrate that you want to have them embroiled in a situation that is a crazy mess. Some relationships end but the former partners remain friends, which in some cases can help with recovering from being heartbroken. It takes maturity to remain friends with an “ex”. Sometimes the best course of action is no contact, either because of the crazy mess or maintaining contact the person would simply delay healing. However, it is another story to say, “Let’s just be friends”, when you don’t want to be friends at all. Be honest with yourself, and each other, say what you mean and mean what you say.
“I want to be ‘young, wild, and free.’” – Let me break this down individually. Being young does not only apply to those who are under 30 for example. It also applies to someone who may have gotten married at 20, got divorced at 40, and feels like he/she missed out on something while being “tied down” in a relationship. However, one thing about life is that tomorrow is not guaranteed. A person may decide to eventually settle down at around age 35 but pass away at 34. Or, the incredible opportunities they had earlier in life are now met with “all the good ones are taken”. So rather than having a seemingly unlimited choice of who to be in a relationship with, the dating pool is left with “slim pickings”. It is worthy to note that if a person has just gotten divorced, that person may need time to heal before even entertaining the thought of dating. Don’t try to awaken a person’s love before the individual is ready (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4).
We all need to enjoy life, but even solitary big cats have seasons when they desire companionship. By the way, the wild also has a lot of fleas. When people want to be wild they may get more than they bargained for.
I hope it is not just me, but I do not equate being in the right relationship with being in prison. On the other hand, being with the wrong person, now that is another story. I know there are some people who have to check in with their partner frequently or keep the “GPS” enabled. That is a relationship with a lack of trust. I am not a fool because I know there are cases where the trust that may have been given was lost. That is an issue for another time. However, let me say that if you cheated on your partner, you have to submit to extra measures to regain that person’s lost trust… The one thing all relationships have is the freedom to choose. You are free to choose and pay the price for your choices. Sometimes the price is actually a reward in the form of love. In other cases, the price for your decisions may include a visit to the health clinic, a paternity suit, divorce, etc. A relationship is not about being in bondage. It is about two people who are bonded by love, who are free to leave but choose to stay, and they work as individuals and as a team to elevate each other. Maybe I am idealistic, but a good relationship does not enslave us, it liberates us. The right relationship will bring out the best in you, and that is freedom.
“God said you’re my husband/wife.” – One of the most important decisions you will make in your life is who to marry. The Lord is the world’s best matchmaker so I highly recommend that you go with His choice of a spouse for you. However, you have to ensure you are hearing from the Lord regarding a potential spouse or it could be disastrous. I personally know of people who received such a revelation from the Lord, one of the couples has been married for 41 years. But I also personally know of people who were either deceived or blatantly lied while using the Lord’s name to advance a personal agenda.
When the Lord gives such a revelation, He will bring it to pass. One of the telltale signs that a potential relationship is not of the Lord is when one or both individuals are forcing the relationship to work. It gets even more obvious when one of the individuals is being manipulative or even forceful. If the Lord only initially reveals it to one of the people He has ordained to be together, the recipient of the message should never take the revelation and go to the individual and say, “The Lord said you are my husband/wife.” While it is okay to reveal it while courting, it should never be used as a way to try to force or manipulate a person into a relationship with you because the person does not want to disobey the Lord. After all, Jesus said, ‘If ye love Me, keep My commandments.’ ~ John 14:15 (KJV) If the Lord reveals the person He has ordained for you, it is not your responsibility to go and tell the person. But rather, it is up to the Lord to reveal it to that person and your future interactions will help to confirm or deny whether you are operating in the Lord’s will.
I could make this very short but it is too important for me to abbreviate. If you believe you have heard from the Lord about Him having ordained a particular person for you as your spouse, there are certain protocols you should follow. Here are some ways to separate “the one” from God versus the devil’s counterfeits:
Ensure you heard from the Lord instead of a seducing spirit, a devil sent to lead you and others astray. The devil knows that if he can deceive one person he can mislead generations, as was the case when he deceived Eve. In potential relationship, one deceived person immediately impacts four people. Ask the Lord for confirmation and then wait for it. Some people have received erroneous revelations from either the desires/idols of their heart or from a devil. Ask the Lord to confirm or deny the revelation (see Judges 6-7). If a person or marriage is an idol of your heart, it will make it difficult for you to receive correction from the Lord. If you do not heed the Word of the Lord, your efforts will eventually fail, which is why many Christian marriages get terminated in divorce court. I also recommend that you get confirmation independent of the potential spouse. You are most likely serving different gods if you receive different information regarding if the Lord has ordained the two of you to marry each other. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” ~ Amos 3:3 (KJV) The answer is resounding no! Sadly, many people have been deceived to the point of wasting years waiting for a relationship with a person that will never happen. Arguably, it is even worse when one person pursues another, thinking the individual is his/her God-ordained spouse, yet the person is clearly not interested. It is also a clear indication that a potential relationship is not of the Lord if one person believes he/she needs to make the other person his. The following Words of the Lord apply to the relationships He ordains: ‘Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit.’ ~ Zechariah 4:6 (KJV)
If you are certain that the Lord confirmed the person is in fact the one, give the person to Him and take your hands off. Keep in mind that the Lord had promised Abraham a son, but after years of waiting, he took his wife’s awful suggestion to have a child with her servant. Do not create an “Ishmael” while waiting on your “Isaac”, the promise from the Lord. Also, the Lord did not deliver on His promise to Abraham until He later directly revealed it to Sarah, 24 years later (Genesis 17-18). That does not mean the Lord will tell the man first, but He will reveal His plans to both individuals either before they meet or at some point after. You have to wait for the Lord to tell the other person or you risk venturing into witchcraft. Do not pursue someone who the Lord has not prepared to receive you. When the Lord had finally blessed Abraham with Isaac, He later asked him to sacrifice his beloved son. Abraham was willing to comply and part ways with his son, forever (Genesis 22). If you are unwilling to part ways with the promise, your desire is for an idol instead of a spouse. Also, if you are not willing to wait on the Lord, your desire is for an idol instead of a spouse.
The Lord will prepare both individuals and bring them together, in His timing. The way the Lord brought Rebekah to Isaac is a great example; even outsiders could tell that the Lord had ordained the relationship (Genesis 24). The way the Lord united Ruth with Boaz is another great example. It also demonstrates that the Lord will present a woman to a man, just like how He brought Eve to Adam.
The Lord is a God of order. Men have the innate drive to pursue the woman he desires to marry. However, a Godly man, who is submitted to the Lord, will not pursue a woman until the Lord tells him to. So, if a woman is pursuing a man she is out of order and has ventured into what can be called “Jezebellion”. The Lord will present a woman to a man but it is the man who will pursue her. We see this when Naomi told Ruth to present herself to Boaz and then he pursued her (Ruth 2-4). A woman only needs to express an interest in a man once, and she should never try to pressure him to be in a relationship with her. One of the signs that a relationship is not of the Lord is the woman playing the masculine role by pursuing the man. Conversely, a man who is pursuing a woman who does not want to be pursued is also out of order. When the Amalekites had captured David’s family, he inquired of the Lord if he should pursue them, and if he would be successful (1 Samuel 30). He did not make a move until he received the Lord’s permission, so he received the Lord’s blessings. If you pursue someone and fail, you need to seek the Lord to see if you “jumped the gun”, or, if that was your wake-up call that you have been pursuing the wrong person.
The Lord unites people for a purpose (Ruth 4), but there will be a mutual attraction, especially on a spiritual level (Ruth 2). If the attraction is not mutual, the potential relationship is not of the Lord. The Lord’s purpose is why God-ordained relationships come under so much attack, oftentimes before the two people even meet. Take note that shortly after the Lord told Abraham and Sarah that He was going to bless them with the promised child within a year, Sarah was taken into the king of Gerar’s harem (Genesis 20). But because the Lord had a promise to fulfill, He intervened. Abraham did not have to do anything; the Lord had made a promise and was going to ensure it came to pass. The Lord sustains what He ordains, which is why some marriages end in divorce, to include some that had been declared as being God-ordained. Moreover, the way Sarah was captured when she was on the verge of becoming pregnant with the Lord’s promise is the way the devil may attack your promise from the Lord. You need the Lord’s help to discern when he is directing you versus when the devil is trying to misdirect you.
If you have multiple people approaching you claiming to be your God-ordained spouse, that is a major red flag. The Lord is not the author of confusion, but of peace. As a result, the Lord will give you His peace about the person He has selected for you, and there will only be one. The Lord’s peace transcends understanding. As a result, you may have an affinity for someone with a certain hair color but the Lord shows you a person with a different hair color. But because it is from the Lord, even though you may need time to let your preconceived notions go, the hair color won’t be a deal breaker as when you were operating out of your flesh. It is also a major red flag if you are confused about multiple people possibly being the person the Lord has ordained for you. The Lord will clear any confusion by revealing Himself in the both of you to each other. So, for example, you could be at a convention with 10,000 other people who all love Christ, but He may show you someone who seems more Christ like than anyone else. Some people have even observed a heavenly light around the person the Lord is illuminating to them. While one person can have an obsession for another person, which is unhealthy, the person the Lord shows you will become the standard-bearer so to speak. It is like the person is deposited into your heart and keeps others out. It takes a relationship with the Lord to determine if the feeling is because of a carnal obsession or a divine ordination. Again, one of the ways to discern is your willingness to hand the person and the situation over to the Lord and wait on Him to bring the two of you together.
While the stories of Adam and Eve and Isaac and Rebekah getting married on the day they met is great, you need to take time to get to know the person you believe is your God-ordained spouse. You have to enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes it is so easy to spot two people who should never be together. When Jesus told the parable of the sower, He mentioned the various conditions that could impact the growth of the seed, which is the Word of God (Luke 8). Similarly, relationships can be like those conditions. Some people ended up with someone who took them away from the Lord’s purpose, like the birds (devils) that snatched the seeds. Some people are like the seeds on the rocks because the relationship starts off with potential but lacks depth to last. Other people are like the stifling thorns that keep the other person from ever truly growing into their Godly purpose. But when a person is in a Godly relationship, the fruits are evident and both people look like they are thriving. You can help to identify whether a person is a potential God-ordained spouse based on how the person impacts your relationship with the Lord. Anyone who comes to steal, kill, or destroy is a counterfeit from the devil.
A person can claim to be your God-ordained spouse until the day he/she dies, but that does not mean it is a fact. Some people have been deceived while others are willing emissaries of the devil. Ensure you have a relationship with the Lord so you can hear from Him for yourself. You do not want to be the deceiver or be deceived. The Lord is not going to send someone to you who will be an idol to you or someone who will destroy your relationship with Him. Using the Lord’s name will only get a person so far. Most likely, the Lord will warn you about a person’s intentions beforehand. So please, ensure you are listening to the Lord and obeying Him instead of a forked tongue suitor. You will know people by their fruits and some people are using the Lord’s name to get into relationships while acting like the devil. If you outright reject a person claiming to be your gift from God, or tell the person that you need time to seek the Lord for yourself, but his/her reaction is ungodly, get away from that person. A person who does not respect you does not respect the Lord either. When you give something to the Lord and He wants you to have it, He will give it back to you. When you love the Lord, you will spend more time pursuing Him instead of a potential spouse
Whether you are a man or a woman, have nothing to do with a person who does not respect your boundaries, and especially someone who does not respect the Lord’s boundaries. You do not want to be in a relationship with a professing “God-ordained spouse” who does not respect you or your God. When the Lord plans and ordains something, He brings it to pass (Isaiah 55:8-11, 37:26, etc.). A person does not have to announce to you that the Lord said you are his/her God-ordained spouse. If you give the person a chance, even in a casual conversation in a group setting, the Lord will make His presence or His absence felt. I have heard people say they had no prior revelations from the Lord, but within 15 minutes of having a conversation with the person, they knew he/she was “the one”. The opposite is also true where it may be readily apparent that the person is not “the one”, and all that person can do from that point forward is to keep substantiating that revelation.
There are times when a person claims to be your God-ordained spouse, and the truth is, the person is desperate. The person knows the only chance he or she has of ever being in a relationship with you is to use your love for the Lord against you. When the Lord ordains a relationship, despite the struggles, it is like being in heaven on earth. However, a demonically arranged union is a living hell. You will know a person by his or her fruits, and one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit is longsuffering (patience). As a result, a person who receives such a revelation will demonstrate the requisite patience to wait on the Lord to confirm or deny the revelation to the other person, with no interference. And if the revelation is from the Lord, he/she will wait on the Lord for howsoever long He takes to bring things to pass. If a plane is coming in for a landing, and there are any obstacles in the way, the air traffic controller will either put the plane in a waiting pattern or reroute it. Air traffic control is responsible for getting the airplane to land and then get if off the active runway, and then ground control takes over and directs the plane to the gate. The Lord does all of that to bring two people together. As a result, sometimes the Lord may have you in a holding pattern to clear the way for you to approach the other person. If you do too soon, it will be disastrous.
Sadly, the devil likes to corrupt the things of the Lord. That is a part of why some people try to rush things by claiming to be another person’s God-ordained spouse, and then get offended when they get shot down or crash because they run out of fuel. The Lord sustains what He ordains. If the wrong plane gets to a gate, it will prevent the right plane from being able to get there. That is why some people are in a holding pattern, waiting for the opportunity to be with their God-ordained spouse. The devil may have temporarily disrupted things but the Lord’s will be done. Keep in mind that when king Abimelech had captured Sarah, the Lord did not allow him to go in unto her (Genesis 20:6). He was like the devil’s plane that was occupying Abraham’s gate so the Lord moved him out of the way.
By the way, if I had to patiently wait for three years to be able to post this, doesn’t it make sense to wait on the Lord to give you the clearance to pursue a relationship with someone? There are things I was inspired to add to this that I would have had a hard time believing if I had not witnessed them myself. Some of you will be shocked to hear what your God-ordained spouse has been through before getting to you. In some cases, you missed the opportunity to be together in the past so the Lord had to bring the plane around for another landing. Unfortunately, when that happens, that flight gets pushed to the back of the flight order. So while you attended a wedding or two as a bridesmaid/groomsman, you had been in line to be a bride/groom at the time. Do not allow the devil to snatch the seeds away from you or your future spouse. When you pray for your future spouse, ask the Lord to prevent the person from being deceived and even illegally detained by the devil via one of his counterfeits. Jacob worked seven years to be with his beloved Rachel but was deceived into being with Leah instead (Genesis 29). Whether you are a man or a woman, do not sit back and let a “Leah” (man or woman) get to your “Jacob” (man or woman) before you. Pray for the person the Lord has ordained for you to marry, especially since the devil may have people praying against that future marriage.
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
As long as you are willing to face the facts, you will never have to question how a person feels about you. A person will express his or her true feelings towards you via his or her actions. You simply have to stop doubting what the person shows you. And, arguably more important, stop making excuses for the individual by discarding the unfavorable information that detracts from the love story you are trying to write. Never project your feelings unto another, which is a way of convincing yourself that the feeling is mutual, even when how the person treats you clearly contradicts that narrative. Whether the person loves you or not, ensure that you also love yourself, if not, you will settle for less than the Lord’s best for you. Don’t lose yourself, and your relationship with the Lord, because you are pursuing someone who clearly is not pursuing you, or even worse, is not interested in being in a relationship with you. You do not want to be in a position where you have created a narrative to love someone who is to busy loving someone else, whether it’s another person or simply him or herself.
Let me take the gloves off and get down and dirty with one of many things that come to mind.
Does the person of your interest treat you like a priority in his or her life? When you fly in economy class, there is no confusing it with first class. Even if you have never flown in first class, you may have walked through it to get to your seat. As a result, you may have noticed a lot of obvious things regarding why first class is so different. Consequently, there are many ways to tell when you have placed someone in the first class section of your life, but that person has you in the economy section or one of the baggage compartments, and that is if you are on the person’s flight at all. By the way, do not be enamored by a person’s first class potential when he or she is giving you the economy class treatment (performance), just enough to keep you in place but not enough for you to feel special. Ensure the person you desire at least treats you like carry-on luggage instead of checked baggage. Meaning, the individual prefers to keep you as close as possible because he or she does not want to lose you. Don’t settle for someone who treats you like checked luggage, especially the kind of luggage he or she would not care less if you got lost and would not even try to locate you if you were…
In an earlier previous Facebook post, I was inspired to ask about your conditions for someone to receive your unconditional love. Well, I strongly suggest that one of those conditions is that the person is willing to love you, unconditionally. The game of solitaire is also called “patience”. Sadly, many people are in pseudo-relationships, patiently waiting for the other person to make him or her his or her king or queen, but the “relationship” is one with a solitary player, a person who is playing games with his or her own heart. You know when the deck of cards is stacked against you, and when a person is playing for fun or for keeps. Do not pretend to be someone’s king of hearts or queen of diamonds when the person treats you like a joker. Do not tolerate someone disrespecting you, especially publicly and on multiple occasions. Again, do not doubt what a person shows you; actions speak volumes. I am not into divination, but don’t ignore the abundant and clear signs that a person is not going to be who you desire him or her to be. There comes a point when you can no longer blame a person for playing games with your heart because you are the one who has been playing solitaire.
I have the following special note for the ladies: If you have expressed an interest in a man and he is not pursuing you, under no circumstances, not even if you receive a revelation from the Lord, should you pursue him. Ruth went to Boaz and expressed an interest in him but that was as far as she went. It was Boaz who took that revelation and the initiative to begin pursuing her. And like Naomi said to Ruth, ‘Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day.’ ~ Ruth 3:18 (KJV) If you can’t sit still and let the man pursue you, most likely, the Lord had not spoken to you. God is a God of order and a Godly man is going to know when a woman is out of order and he will reject her. Again ladies, even if you receive an alleged revelation from the Lord regarding that man, it is Biblical to express an interest in him but it is out of order to pursue him. Rachel never had to work a day for Jacob; he was the one who volunteered to work seven years for the chance to marry her, something he would have never done for her sister Leah because he clearly did not want her (Genesis 29). As Naomi said to Ruth, I say unto you, if a man knows you are interested in him, sit still.
I close with some advice from the Kenny Rogers’ song called “The Gambler” which states:
‘You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run…’
With any relationship, you have to know when to walk way, such as when you know you are trying to win with a losing hand. By the way, anyone can walk away from a relationship, but don’t ignore the sign when the other person finds it easy to walk and stay away.People don’t ignore what they adore. Stop playing with a losing hand while pretending as if you stand a chance of winning. And please, do not get upset with anyone, to include yourself, if you hold when you should have folded and your bluff gets exposed. I beseech you, please stop doubting what you see and stop denying and trying to rewrite what you know. When you are pursuing someone who continually disrespects you, what in the world are you holding on to?
Feel free to print this message and anonymously leave it on the desk of someone who needs it if you have to.
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
A narcissistic minister usually has the delusion of having a relationship with the Lord that is above everyone else, as was the case with Moses. But a narcissistic minister cannot have such a relationship with the Lord because some of the hallmarks of narcissism are selfishness, delusion of grandeur, a lack of empathy, and pride. Consequently, a narcissist is instantly disqualified from such as relationship with the Lord because He resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). The Lord used Moses in spectacular ways, to include parting the Red Sea and causing water to flow from a rock, yet after those events, Moses remained the most humble man on the face of the earth (Numbers 12:3). Conversely, the best a narcissist minister can do is display false humility while doing nothing that truly glorifies the Lord. A narcissistic minister actually misrepresents the Lord.
When the Lord had taken some of His Spirit from Moses and placed the Holy Spirit upon the 70 elders, Joshua wanted Moses to stop the two elders who were prophesying in the camp. But Moses demonstrated his humility by saying, ‘Enviest thou for my sake? Would God that all the Lord’s people were prophets, and that the Lord would put His Spirit upon them!’ ~ Numbers 11:29 (KJV) That would not be the case with a narcissistic minister. Such an individual typically act as if he or she is the only one who hears from the Lord. Or, the person may act like the supreme authority on hearing from the Lord. You may recall when the Lord said the following to Moses, ‘See, I have made thee a god to Pharaoh: and Aaron thy brother shall be thy prophet.’ ~ Exodus 7:1 (KJV) You would think the Lord had said those same Words to a narcissistic minister because he or she will act like a god to other ministers, to include trying to subjugate them. Be very careful of anyone who uses terms such as major, master, or chief prophet or chief apostle. There is a very god chance those individuals are overt narcissists. Jesus never referred to Himself as the master prophet or chief apostle.
Sooner or later, a narcissistic minister will put him or herself in between you and the Lord, if you allow it. The minister may make it seem as if you will never hear from the Lord unless the Lord tells him or her first. That is clearly unscriptural based on 1 Samuel 3. Eli was the priest and judge over Israel, yet the Lord spoke with a young Samuel without ever speaking to the priest. Samuel had to share the revelation the following day. Be careful or you will receive a revelation from the Lord and a narcissistic minister will convince you that it was not from the Lord. That is reminiscent of the Parable of the Sower (Luke 8:1-15) where the birds came and snatched the seeds that were sown on the ground. A narcissistic minister will also act like the other elements to choke the life out of you and your relationship with the Lord, or try to prevent the things of the Lord from taking root in your life. You have to get away from a narcissistic minister to have a truly meaningful relationship with the Lord, a relationship that bears good and plenteous fruit.
The following are but a few Scriptures that address why a narcissistic minister will never have the relationship with the Lord that they think and/or profess:
‘And I will give you pastors according to Mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.’ ~ Jeremiah 3:15 (KJV)
‘For the pastors are become brutish, and have not sought theLord: therefore they shall not prosper, and all their flocks shall be scattered.’ ~ Jeremiah 10:21 (KJV)
The Lord dedicated several chapters of the Bible to solely address abusive clergy, to include Jeremiah 23. A narcissistic minister brings division to the body of Christ, and as the Lord said, ‘Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture!’ ~ Jeremiah 23:1 (KJV) By the way, the Lord said ‘sheep’, so please do not confuse a narcissistic minister who scatters the Lord’s sheep with a minister who separates the sheep from the goats, like Christ will (Matthew 25:31-46). Or, do not confuse a narcissistic minister who is a wolf in shepherd’s clothing with a minister of Christ who keeps the wolves from amongst the flock.
The other chapter where the Lord addresses “heavy shepherding” begins with, “And the Word of theLord came unto me, saying, ‘Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, ‘Thus saith the Lord God unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock. The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.’ ~ Ezekiel 34:1-4 (KJV) That speaks to the selfish and brutish ways of a narcissistic minister who professes Christ yet is a devil.
Make no mistake about it because you have a role to play in this. You may not know a lot about narcissism, and may misperceive the abusive actions of a narcissistic minister with him or her being protective and maintaining discipline. But there comes a time when a congregant may have to walk away from a congregation because the shepherd is abusive. The environment is clearly that of a leader who rules with an iron fist (overt narcissist), or an iron fist covered in velvet gloves (covert narcissist). Rather than being a shepherd, the minister is actually a wolf in shepherd’s clothing. It does not matter if you signed a membership agreement, you can walk away from an abusive church at any time, without offering an explanation. If you remain in an oppressive environment then the following Word of the Lord may apply to you:
‘A wonderful and horrible thing is committed in the land; The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests bear rule by their means; and My people love to have it so: and what will ye do in the end thereof?’ ~ Jeremiah 5:30-31 (KJV)
On a personal note, I speak from the voice of experience. I know what it was like to be associated with a ministry that was led by a narcissistic minister. It was killing me, and my relationship with the Lord, so I divorced myself from that situation. It was during the separation process that the Lord led me to study narcissism, and that was when everything I had endured began to make sense. Do not allow anyone to abuse you, especially while using your love for the Lord, and obedience to Him, as the bait to do so. By the way, when you begin to discern or you know a minister is a narcissist, do not go to that individual and try to alert him or her. You are going to create a “narcissistic injury” and may end up in a battle you are not prepared for. A narcissistic minister will try to destroy you. A narcissist works hard to project a certain image and will therefore work even harder to maintain the façade. Your best course of action may simply be to remove you and your family from the ministry, and possibly try to warn others who have the ears to hear. But don’t be surprised if the Lord’s Words in Jeremiah 5:30-31 come into play. The people you try to warn and protect may defend the narcissistic minister and turn against you.
This was only the tip of the iceberg, but a strong warning nonetheless. As I bid you farewell, “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” ~ Philippians 2:12 (KJV) By the way, that fear is the reverential fear of the Lord instead of the spirit of fear a narcissist tries to induce. Never forget that “…God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
Social Aloe Ministries: “Glorifying God. Exposing the devil.”
I feel convicted when I hear some messages, even to the point of inquiring of the Lord if and how the message applies to me. Most of the times it does not. Yet, I do not want to fall into the error of doing things that are displeasing to the Lord, or even worse, staying in the condition when confronted with that fact. If I get off course, I usually look for the very next off-ramp marked “Repentance” so I can get off the highway to hell. Moreover, it is important to note that there is a difference between sorrow and repentance. Many people claim they are sorry yet continue going down the highway to hell. They feel the Holy Spirit’s conviction as He tries to turn them away from sin, but they quench, and even grieve the Holy Spirit, and continue down the path to soothe their soul.
Let us take a look at what happened when Jesus said one of His disciples was going to betray Him to illustrate the difference between sorrow and repentance.
“And the disciples did as Jesus had appointed them; and they made ready the Passover. Now when the even was come, He sat down with the twelve. And as they did eat, He said, ‘Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray Me.’
And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, ‘Lord, is it I?’
And He answered and said, ‘He that dippeth his hand with Me in the dish, the same shall betray Me. The Son of man goeth as it is written of Him: but woe unto that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! It had been good for that man if he had not been born.’
[Note: They were sorrowful, but that was the time to transition to repentance.]
Then Judas, which betrayed Him, answered and said, ‘Master, is it I?’
He said unto him, ‘Thou hast said.’” ~ Matthew 26:19-25 (KJV)
By the way, Judas asked the Lord that question after he had consorted with the chief priests and was looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus (Matthew 26:14-16). Again, sorrow is not the same as repentance. Many people are sorry for things they have done and/or are doing but will end up in hell if they do not repent. Repentance is not simply being sorry, it means to stop and turn away from sin, to include making restitutions if necessary. Repentance requires making changes in an effort to draw closer to the Lord.
When Jesus told the “Parable of the Wedding Banquet” (Matthew 22:1-13), keep in mind what happened to the guest who was invited to the banquet but did not take the take to change into a wedding garment prior to showing up:
“And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: and he saith unto him, ‘Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen.’” ~ Matthew 22:11-14 (KJV)
The parable is not about showing up to church dressed a certain way, “your Sunday’s best”. Jesus never turned away lepers or refused to feed the hungry because of their appearance. But rather, it speaks to the condition of the heart. Don’t get cast into outer darkness, eternally separated from the Lord, because you showed up in His presence with an unrepentant heart.